An Interesting Conversation

Chris
So. I'm clean out of give a shit sauce
and i need more
/
I need a reason to care about something
anything
i need something to lose
17:14Anya
care about me! cause i'm awesome
and always save your ass.
17:14Chris
I already feel like I've lost you though
17:15Anya
whyyyy????
17:15Chris
because you're so far away and you have your school and boyfriend and what not
I need symbiosis
17:16Anya
symbiosis? in what sense?
17:16Chris
commensalism
17:17Anya
ahh. well i'm sorry i'm so far away.
17:17Chris
it's okay i'm happy for you
17:17Anya
you promise?
17:18Chris
mmhmm i would never honestly want to drag you down with me
17:18Anya
i should hope not.
17:18Chris
I wasn't joking when I said you are good at life lol
I just need to find someone as pointless as I am
17:19Anya
whyyy?
17:19Chris
I think that's the one reason I hate kim so much because she's so naive
Like.. she's got to be blind to seriously think she's not going to be fed up with me at some point because I have no real direction
I know for a fact there's way better for her
It really says a lot when someone who was in my graduating class, then failed two grades is graduated, and in college before I am
17:25Anya
who?
17:25Chris
his name is rob
17:27Anya
oh. i'm sorry babe.
have you thought about going to lakeland or something?
17:28Chris
yeah
17:29Chris
have you ever had moments where you just thought bugger all and wanted to just piss everything away? but then realized you really don't have anything to piss away, so you wouldn't have anything to show for it
and you'd just be perpetuating the same shit different day scenario you've been living the last 6 years?
17:31Anya
yes. i've had those moments. then i realize that that would make my life worthless and i don't want to be worthless.
17:31Chris
I mean.. I'm already there lol
so like I literally have NOTHING to piss away
17:31Anya
so do something with your life!!!
17:32Chris
there's really nothing for me
17:34Anya
of course there is.
one step at a time.
get your ged. and go from there.
17:34Chris
fuck steps life isn't rehab
17:35Anya
yes, it really is.
everything is steps.
17:35Chris
I don't like taking my time with anything
i like having what i want
when i want it
fuck prerequisites i don't need them
i'm just as qualified as almost anybody to do a vast majority
the only separating them from me is fucking paperwork
*vast majority of things
17:37Anya
yes, but paperwork is what makes you something in this society.
17:37Chris
we both know my take on society
I really just want to get the hell out of here
17:37Anya
you have no where to go.
17:38Chris
you noticed too, huh
17:39Anya
yes.
you're stuck. so you might as well make something of yourl ife.
*your life
17:39Chris
but why?
17:40Anya
so you aren't in the shitty position that you are in right now.
17:40Chris
the only thing that bothers me about my situation is that society is telling me what to do
it sounds so cliche
but i'm not even joking
i had a few obstacles, so to the world it looks like i'm not as good as johnny whitecollar
fucking asskiss sycophant...
17:42Anya
i know, babe. i know.
but we all have to do what we gotta do in order to do what we want to do.
17:42Chris
would it be frowned upon if i were to kill all the ass kiss fuckheads in the world?
would that be deemed socially unacceptable?
17:44Anya
no., you would also end up in jail.

Lack.

I guess that's cool, right?

Hrruummph.

I feel like I'm filling my life with pointless things. Trivial bullshit to entertain myself, distract myself from how devoid of purpose my life really is. I want to get away. Hop trains, squat, be a vagrant for a while and see if I can't find a greater appreciation for life.